Q+A | Decorated N.W.T. speed skater Wren Acorn hangs up her skates

Wren Acorn grew up in Yellowknife and moved to Calgary at the age of 16 to pursue speed skating.

Acorn spent years competing on the national circuit, competing full-time and was a member of Team Canada.

Now, she’s about to turn 21 and is headed back to Concordia University in Montreal to pursue her studies.

She spoke with CBC Trailbreaker host Hilary Bird about what it’s like to say goodbye to something you love, and what lies ahead for the young athlete.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity. 

You have put a lot into this sport. What led to the decision to retire? 

I think it was a decision that I took very, very gradually. It was an incredibly rough season, where when I was healthy and things were going well, the stress was just incredible. The pressure I was putting on myself, it wasn’t fulfilling me in the same way that it used to. And then I had a lot of injuries, so it just gave me time to reflect and to realize that it just wasn’t filling me up in the same way anymore.

Skating is such time commitment that if you don’t love it 100 per cent and if it’s not worth sacrificing everything else in your life, then it’s not a lifestyle that you can sustain at all.

Was there a moment that convinced you to do it, to retire? 

It had been in the back of my mind given how tough the beginning of the season was. I’d seen quite a lot of burnout, injuries, a concussion. I threw my back out on a dead lift too, which was incredibly painful. But I remember thinking I cannot quit when things are bad.

So, I really waited until I started to recover from the injuries. I remember, shortly after Christmas, we were skating with our national team among short track legends, Olympic medallists, all that good stuff. It was a training that I enjoyed. I felt good, and I remember thinking yes, this is fun. But it didn’t light the spark in me that it used to. So that was difficult to contend with, that I had maybe changed as a person and my goals had maybe shifted. That was the moment I knew that yes, things were going well, but I still didn’t feel that fire. It was time to let it go.

You mentioned some of the sacrifices that you’ve had to make to pursue this full time. Can you tell us about those? 

I moved away from home when I was 16, but I had started giving up a lot more time even before then. Our family’s summers were spent at training camps and our money went towards travel for sports, and that was it. We had to sacrifice a lot of vacations and stuff like that. The time commitment — I couldn’t see a lot of friends most of the time, I couldn’t get a job because I was so busy. I definitely had to slow down school. I’m about to go back to university and I’m about to turn 21. It’s a full-on lifestyle.

I only see my family twice a year because we train 11 months out of the year. I’ve put quite a few opportunities to the side for skating. It has always been worth it. But if I continued skating I think I would grow to resent it. Being on Team Canada has been such a dream come true. I never want to resent that life and all that it’s brought me.

How did you tell your teammates about your decision? 

I kept it to myself for a little while. I’d been on Team Canada for four years, so I’d been around, I was kind of a constant for a lot of people. I tried my best to act as a mentor to the younger skaters, and to curate a team that was really, really welcoming and supportive. It was definitely difficult to admit it out loud. I think it was most difficult to tell my coaches. My team was incredibly supportive. I think we all know that this lifestyle we live is incredibly tough. It was pretty hard to tell everybody.

Looking back, you’ve had so many achievements. Which one do you think means the most to you? 

I have two, for very different reasons. First off, World University Games last year was absolutely nuts, it was really my “I made it” moment. I was on the line with heroes – women I’d watched years ago win their first Olympic gold medals and world-record holders. It was just such a surreal experience to skate against my heroes internationally.

Second, was one of the lowest points of my career. But I think the significant thing about sport is it teaches you what you can handle, and what you’re capable of. My first season in Montreal, I missed out on going to the Junior World Cup in my last season of eligibility. I remember being absolutely crushed, but then I was able to put a smile on my face for the camera and look at [my teammate] and say ‘I love you, I’m proud of you,’ and then get off. I know that I’m able to champion other people when things aren’t going well for me, and I think that’s a skill that I’m really proud of.

What are your plans now? 

I’m enrolled at Concordia now. I love school. I forgot how much I miss school. I was really worried coming back. I was like, oh my goodness, what if I’m really dumb, what if I’m really bad? But I’m having an incredible, incredible time soaking it all in and learning.

Of course I want to stay with sport. After so many years as a highly-specialized athlete, I just want to be a really well-rounded athlete and try a whole bunch of sports. I want to continue with a whole lot of volunteering and really promote sport at the recreational level. I want to travel with my brother as well. I missed my graduation and his graduation. So I would like to spend as much time with him as possible.

What about finding your identity outside of being such an elite athlete. Is that something that you look forward to, or that you struggle with? 

I think that was something that initially terrified me. But I wouldn’t be the person that I am without those experiences. So I’m not worried about myself going forward because I know that I have all these skills. I have the confidence, I know how to do hard things, I know how to time-manage. Whatever sport has taught me, it will carry me forward. My memories are all my own, my experiences are still all my own, and frankly I’ve got no regrets in my career, so that’s fantastic.

You think of the parts of your life, and for me, skating took up this huge centre part that was bigger than everything else. I was talking to someone and said, what do I replace skating with?  And she said, “you don’t replace it, it just expands to fill up the space. You just get to be a well-rounded person for the first time in nine years, so enjoy it.”